it's break time.

*fingers crossed*

i've built the program that i'm excited to begin next week, after testing it out this past week. it's not far off from a popular program that's out there, but i've switched it up quite a bit. intensity, man! intensity!

however. i've concluded that step one will have to be a week of rest. and i don't know if i can do it. it's actually psychologically DIFFICULT for me to not allow myself to do any resistance activities for seven days.

addicted much? eff. the feeling of getting through a hard workout is intoxicating.

*sob*.

actually, even though i've been persistently ignoring this, most people will recommend (at least) a week off for every 4-6 weeks of intense activity you do. to be honest, barring a christmas break that i barely remember (possible 2-3 days rest here and there), the last planned break (which was actually by force) that i took was a camping trip to montana in august. for five days. and even then i snuck in some pushups here or there.

*sigh*.

and even i'd be the first to harp about how our bodies adjust to things, like reducing calories, for instance. so really, the fact that i can say without a doubt that i average 45+ minutes of exercise a day means that either i eat like a small city, or my body has adjusted to this kind of activity level. as seen in my stunningly immobilized pant size, which is still a good pant size. it's just not my guess jeans pant size. i think. actually, i should go try those on again. it's been a good week!

so. back to goals and such. i've come to a funny conclusion, for those few of you who read this (quite possibly ONE), that my inner circle, in fact, does not consist of low self-esteemers, but what i would like to now call: bipolar self-esteemers.

holy crap, we are weird. i don't know how it's possible to go from resenting the mirror to loving it in a matter of hours, but we do it. i would like to propose that this is a good thing, albeit unstable. at least we have the good days... :/

i spent the last half hour enjoying my reflection. i timed it.

agghh foot is asleep.

um, i think that's it for now. seven days of rest. my birthday present to myself will be a good workout, haha.

i hate rest.