...

okay okay. i promise first thing tomorrow i'll weigh myself. after my run, of course. let's just say there might be more than 9 pounds remaining.

blog title change pending. shh.

i don't even know where to begin. i've learned that every time i finally feel set into a routine, i make a change to it. i think it stems from doubts. i spend a grand total of two days in full determination until i ask myself a rather destructive question.

"is this really the most effective plan?"

dear inner voice thing, go away.

and then comes more questions. followed by research. followed by the rapidly increasing chance that i might skip the planned workout in favor of some more reading. the incessant search of one article or guide that tells me what i want to hear. and then i ask what it is i really want to hear. then i forget what my goals are. or were.

the truth being, when i sit down and really hone in on what my absolute goal might be (because i can already say i live a very active lifestyle, with a more liberal approach to nutrition...), that goal would be knowledge.

part of me just wants to sit back and tell someone with conviction how certain i am that such and such works. well, i read it works. somewhere. someone else tried it.

i am relentless with routine changes. and then i can't even look back and pinpoint where my successes actually came from.

i think part of me wants to sit down and find the article that says "dear stevo, this is the detailed exercise routine and diet plan that will work the best for you. here is also a coupon for a personal chef and the keys to your new convertible."

something along those lines.

so what is TRULY the best anything?

well, if i can say anything with absolute conviction, it's that anything is better than nothing.

less reading, more running.

go.